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adventurewemust

My words. No explanations.

Learned To Forgive

I wanted to write you a letter

Actually I have written you three

To tell you everything that I’ve done

Ask you all sorts of things

How are you? And where have you gone?

But you would have read the return address

Mocked at the handwriting that had run

Ripped it up into pieces burned it to forget all the wrong

I dialed your number a couple of times

Stared at the screen wondering if you would answer

Then I felt that you would hate me even more

Beyond your hatred for cancer

So I proceeded to delete your contact from my phone

Which didn’t help since I had it memorized all along

Even if you did pick up maybe you wouldn’t have known

I promised myself that I wouldn’t get like I did

I was broken inside for months after you left

I have nothing against you; not anymore

I have learned to forgive you as I did myself

And what’s more is that I have taken the time

To find the words I feel express me right and string them in line

Carry on and take care for I no longer attest

Farewell and goodbye I certainly wish you the best

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Refuse to Sink

There’s no point in trying when all you do it get lied to,

Yeah, that small voice when you’re crying,

Damn it stand up, you can fight too,

Look right out over the water, the past is waving goodbye,

Apparently love didn’t matter, stuck you with the questions, why?

When did it fall apart? How long has it been? Days?

Why didn’t we try to work it out? Why didn’t you want to stay?

I should have seen it coming and recognized your ways,

But I was too focused on class and working for minimum wage,

Now I’m flipping another page in my book, look what it took,

How does it feel now? Say, its like pulling heart strings with a hook,

I refuse to sink but I don’t have the technique to swim to shore,

In less time that it takes to blink, the pain will be crushing even more,

The pressure that sits and waits, haunting every thought you think,

Is the horror behind the corner, another horrible link,

Holes in the wall, cracked, foundations will fall,

But until then I grab a hold and continue to stand tall.

 

 

Broken Sidewalk

She’s just another kid on the block,

Independent dress style; wearing two different multicolored socks,

She has a hole in left shoe from kicking the misplaced sticks and rocks,

From the front pocket of her sweater she pulls out a stick of white chalk,

To color her name at the end of the broken sidewalk,

The neighborhood boys would run by making faces and mock,

She would sit against the paint-peeled fence and wait for the last chime of the church clock,

To walk back home, still too nervous to talk,

At school she shuffled along in the overfilled halls,

Clutching her class books underneath her arms so they wouldn’t fall,

Hoping no one would seek the reason as to why she doesn’t speak,

Or the jagged and deep cuts hidden beneath her baggy long sleeves,

She needs someone to listen, who she can trust and be forgiven,

But no one is able to see through her invisibility cloak, her prison.

Write It About You

Open a book, grab a pen, or sharpen a pencil,

Write out your life story but without using a stencil,

Fill in the blanks of what not many may know,

Include your inner thoughts and just how far will you go.

 

Make it a point to write it about you,

The person you are doesn’t wear other people’s shoes,

A shadow of the dark or the hero of the light,

You are who you are so your book is your life.

 

No autocorrect, delete, or backspace,

Just shift, control, tab, and a bar of space,

There’s no erasing the past so if that’s the case,

Start a new paragraph, just don’t copy and paste.

 

 

Troubled Mind

This pain, this pressure that keeps dragging me down

Has overtaken me, deafening, with its hollows sounds,

Need a compass to guide me though getting lost is unlikely,

Through the undiscovered grounds where the venomous may bite me,

 

Where the enemy lurks is in the shadows of your thoughts,

You can never escape, for it is permanently caught,

Trapped with an evil being dwelling inside your mind,

Treats you to the darker things, formulating ways to lie.

Words Are Only Words.

I just want to go home for a while,

I want to feel lost with an unexplained sense of wellness,

Not the pain driven sleepless nights, lying awake waiting,

Not the assumptions of what ifs boiling inside the darkest tunnels of my mind,

Just the simple matter of not knowing where I am is what I long for,

I want to turn off the racket of noise and pollution that fills my weary body,

Plant images and altered thoughts of nothingness to replace the lies and made up stories that have been said,

To diminish overthinking a vast array of unnecessary chaos,

I want to boast the idea within myself that I can be of one, but none,

To stop carrying the world over my shoulders in hopes of freeing what is contained,

Is it too much to ask if I can just be myself without a care once in a while?

I don’t want masks of make up or costumes to hide behind anymore,

I want to feel comfortable and free within my own skin,

Confidence is hard to create, impossible to master, and unheard of with me,

Dancing in the unknown without a definite language to translate,

Unable to speak out, to be heard from.

Words were once a common ground,

But words are only words.

The Manor

There’s so much shit going down I don’t know what to say,

Money makes the world go-round, say so long to yesterday,

Take a walk outside, breathe in what they heave out as a waste,

May be a little funny in the way that it tastes,

So create a new way to alter the awful distain,

Paint a picture of this dysfunctional family’s growing pains,

Stick it up on the fridge, frame it up on the wall,

Plaster it all over town, yes the manor has its fall,

Crashing down, tripped and fell, over the lies that spilt,

Responsibility and anger can be felt rising from hell,

But what do I do know? I pack up my bags and leave,

Head down to the bright lights, the city to follow my dreams.

 

My Inner Demon

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you from a distance? As if someone’s eyes were burning their way through your tough outer shell that you created to protect yourself from getting hurt? You could never quite figure out where they were hiding, could you?

Well, it could easily have been the only person you know so well, yourself. Growing up and entering the cold, harsh world of reality, I have noticed that everyone has a dark side. A side of oneself that isn’t typically shared or easily observed, usually in fear of being denied acceptance by peers and relatives.

Unfortunately, a handful of years ago, I became inseparable with my dark side. I allowed the evil being that was dwelling inside my mind to commandeer my thoughts and emotions. It anchored its ship to my sunken heart. I no longer had any control.

Sleepless nights were wasted staring out of the manor’s eyes into the fields that were washed in complete darkness. Days were nearly the same, but bleached with sunlight or drowned out by the rain. I was no longer myself, but a hollowed out shell.

It Only Takes One

I keep repeating every word I say to everyone,

They can’t understand me, apparently I speak in foreign tongue,

My patience is all wrung out so I tend to tweak at anyone,

I say I’m sorry in advance when I know I can’t right my wrongs,

Feeling under attack, I appear to be the broken one,

Left alone, only my hand is glued to the trigger of a smoking gun,

But I still poke for fun knowing I’m not the only one,

Staring out, up to the sky, cherishing the ones we lost,

To the fires, to the lies, through the wires, in disguise,

Biting metal just to settle, belts from denim, sipping venom,

Crimson lines mark every time, popping pills and cancer strikes,

They all were once lost, so leave the light on to guide them home,

Disregard their lonely road for it was the only one they had known.

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