I paint yet another fake smile on my face to appease everybody who may be coming my way or at least to not show how I really feel at the moment. Buckled knees I collapse to the ground as I heave. I can’t breath, I can’t see yet still no one notices me because I’m standing there at attention, connected in conversation and holding it all in. My body is under siege from its own self. I’m being attacked by thoughts that I can’t help. But I’m still there acting as if I’m aware of what’s going on when really it’s too much to bare. It’s not my intention and I’m sorry I don’t mean to stare. You’re the only being in the universe that is keeping me calm as I am falling off of this cliff into the inevitable dark abyss. Yet you have no idea and you probably never will.

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